| Notes |
- California Birth Index, 1905-1995 Record
Name: Barbara Jean Collis
Birth Date: 20 Nov 1930
Gender: Female
Mother's Maiden Name: Sherman
Birth County: San Joaquin
Barbara Jean Collis was the third child born to Russell and Bertha Collis. She was born November 20, 1930. Her parents were living in Brentwood at the time but went to Dammeron Hospital in Stockton for Barbara's birth. Perhaps Russell was influenced by his cousin, Langley Collis, who was a doctor in Stockton, and Stockton is only about 30 miles from Brentwood along the Sacramento River. They were listed in the California Voter Registration in 1926-28 in Stockton, 5th Ward, 8th Precinct at Horace Ave and Anderson. Russell is listed as a bench hand Russell had worked there before as a pipe fitter and was familiar with the area. When traveling the levee road between Brentwood and Stockton, Bertha had to lean her head out of the car window and tell Russell which way to turn. Bertha couldn't decide between the name of Betty and Barbara (after Betty Davis and Barbara Stanwyck). She decided on Barbara. However, the recorder must have become tired of waiting because it was discovered later when Barbara was 14 and tried to get her work permit, that the birth certificate gave the name as Betty. It was officially changed back to Barbara.
In 1932, when Barbara was eighteen months old, her family moved to the state of Washington to a little town named Thera. Bertha's parents lived close by in Diamond. The family moved into an old converted grain warehouse where Russell became manager and was responsible for loading the sacks of wheat onto the elevator that took them up into the waiting boxcars. Russell would often let the children hitch a ride on top of the sacks of wheat as they ascended up to the boxcars. Barbara remembers rollerskating the length of that warehouse. This was an especially useful vehicle when needing to use the bathroom at the far end of the warehouse. For her 4th birthday her mother bought a doll and tied a string to it. Her mother gave Barbara the other end of the string. She had to follow that string which wandered back and forth through the warehouse, until she came to the doll.
Barbara remembers that sometime during her childhood she could not sleep on her left side or the pigs would bite her ears. Why? She's not sure.
Her mother told the story of the gypsies that traveled through the area. They tried to buy Barbara. Thank goodness the folks weren't that desperate for money. There is also the story that someone gave her the runt lamb of the flock., which she cared for and loved.
Barbara started the first grade in Endicott, near Thera. They lived in Thera about five years then moved to Colfax, Washington, where she finished first grade and continued through 5th grade. Barbara walked with her brother, Roy, and sister, Laura, about 3 miles down the road to school in Colfax. Sometimes unbeknownst to their mother, they walked the shortcut over the railroad trestle. When Barbara asked Roy what they would do if a train came, He replied, "We would drop down and hang below by our hands". Scary thought! After the first year a bus picked them up. When it snowed, Mom would have to go push them up the hill to the road where the bus was waiting. Barbara spent most of her young years on the farm in Colfax, then moved to Sacramento when she was 10 years old.
One day on her way to Rancho Market Barbara found $50 in the empty lot. Mom had always instilled in her children complete honesty and the idea to never keep anything that didn't belong to them. Barbara took the money to the Market and told them where she had found it. Later a sailor claimed it. It was his mustering out pay. He was so relieved to get it back, he gave her a $5 reward. That was a lot of money to a young kid at that time. and $50 was a lot of money to an adult.
As a teenager Barbara was active in the youth group of the Nazarene church. She attended a church youth camp by Santa Cruz when she was about 16. During her high school years, she had the responsibility to care for her younger brother and two sisters after school as her mother was working. She never minded that responsibility as it just seemed her contribution as a family member. She worked at the Carnation Ice Cream Company restaurant on Stockton Boulevard, just up the street from our home. She told me a story about one time when she was waitressing and cooking. A man came in and ordered his meal. When he finished eating, she asked him what he would like for dessert. He said, "you". She said she wasn't dessert, she was the main course. He laughed and left her a $5 tip. Who but Barb could think that fast.
She graduated from Sacramento High School in 1948. Barbara worked for the Federal Veteran's Administration for a year after graduation from High School. She then attended Sacramento Jr. College, graduating with a AA degree in Social Science. After graduation she worked for the California Highway Patrol coding accident reports.
Barbara met Tom Alexander in March 1951 on a blind date. He came to Sacramento with her girlfriend's boyfriend. They went to the boy's house and he asked if he could mix her a drink. When she said, "No. Thank you," he said, "the only other thing we have is milk." She replied that she would have a glass of milk. They then went on a beerbust on the banks of the Sacramento river under a bridge.Tom was an eighteen year old sailor in the U S Navy.. The others at the party seemed to disperse here and there, so Barb and Tom lay on a blanket under the railroad trestle and talked. Tom was a complete gentleman. He did not make any passes and this appealed to Barbara. They courted through the mail as Tom was sent to sea near Japan and Korea shortly after they met. They married in March 1952. Right after the wedding, Tom was shipped over seas and Barbara worked and lived with her parents. Her mother didn't know that Tom was Catholic and was disappointed to find that out. It's hard to figure this out, since Mom at one time had attended Catholic school. Bertha loved Tom, however, and had a good relationship with him throughout the years.
When Tom's ship sailed back to California, Barbara went to Berkeley to meet him in November of 1952. Barbara was about 8 1/2 months pregnant. They drove back to Barbara's sister's house, (Laura and Charlie Just), and then Barbara's water broke. They had to turn around and go back to Oaknoll Hospital in Oakland, where their first child, Karen, was born. They found an army barrack at Mare Island to live in and stayed there for 3 months while the ship was in dry dock. They then lived in government housing in Berkeley for a while. Tom was shipped out so Barbara and the baby returned to Sacramento where Barbara lived in a cement block house with Laura and Charlie.
When Tom's ship came back into port, They moved into a beautiful stately old home in Alameda with Laura and Charlie. The home had been made into 2 apartments. Charlie was attending Law School at UC Berkeley. During the daytime, Barb would stay home with Karen and the two Just children, Charlie attended law school, Laura would go to work at the Bank, and Tom would usually be at sea. Laura worked at the bank. At night time Barbara would go to work, Chrlie would go to work, Laura would stay home with the children, and if Tom was not at sea, he would also be at home. The downstairs neighbors had difficulty keeping track of who was married to whom.
Tom was soon transferred to Hawaii, so Barb and Tom then moved to Hawaii. Hawaii was an expensive place to live and Barbara was pregnant with Kathy most of the time they were there. Hawaii is not a fun place to live while pregnant and poor. It seemed that whenever she hung the wash on the line to dry, it would rain. After rushing out to take it down a few times, Barbara learned to just leave it there to dry eventually. Their second child, Kathleen, was born in September of 1954 in Hawaii.
When Tom got out of the navy, they lived for a time in Sacramento on 24th Street and then moved to Phoenix because his father was sick. Linda, their third child was born there in December of 1955. They bought a house and then rented it out and moved back to Sacramento because Barbara was homesick and Tom was frustrated with his job. Karen attended first grade at a Catholic school on Y Street. They lived in Sacramento 6 months before moving to Milpitis because they had friends there who thought they could help Tom find a job that he would be happy in. They could not qualify financially for housing and so lived with their friends, Gene and Bernita, for 6 months. Tom worked for the city of Milpitis water department. Barbara babysat in exchange for rent.
Tom's dad developed a heart condition and because Tom was an only child and felt he needed to be support for his mother, they moved back to Phoenix into the house they owned at 8121 North 29th Drive. In 1955 Barbara worked at Goodyear Aerospace as a "girl Friday" for 28 engineers. She answered phones, typed, and filed. The company made blimps and componants for airplanes. She worked days for about nine months but with Tom working nights, it made life difficult, so she quit. She only made $50 per week and paid her babysitter $25 per week. Figure the math.
Michael Thomas, "Tommy", was born in Phoenix at Phoenix General Hospital in August 1960. Dr. Hatch was Barbara's doctor, but he didn't make it to the delivery. Dr. Hatch was a cowboy and Tom painted a picture of his two horses to pay the doctor bill.
Barbara was a stay at home mom until Tommy went to school then went to work for GE in 1967. Honeywell bought out GE and Barbara worked as an insurance adjuster with Honeywell information Systems in Phoenix until she retired in June of 1986.
In early 2005 Barbara and Tom were both diagnosed with aortic aneurisms. Tom's was in the groin area and was repaired with surgery in February. Barbara's was a little more complicated as she had a weak heart and they discovered the lump in her neck was a tangle of veins, which may have been congenital from birth. Barb underwent a heart catheterizaton test the 24th of Novemberat the test request of the med staff in Houston, the experts in this field, who wanted a look at her heart/aorta from the inside. Turns out Barb experienced a mini-stroke after the procedure and had to spend 4 days in the hospital. She shed all stroke symptoms and was feeling better every day, but with little energy. They went to Houston around mid NOV for consultation with Dr. Coselli, the leading expert in surgical procedures involving the aorta. Local surgeons would not touch the descending aorta where it is involved with the spine, hence, Houston comes into play as they have the trained and experienced teams and facilities readily available.
She recovered from the TIA very well, but they found that her left carotid artery iwas 50% blocked and she had a weak heart that pumped only 35% of the blood that it should. Barbara and Tom went to the specialist in Texas who said he could not operate as the risk was too great because her heart was weak and there was a great chance she could have a stroke or heart attack during surgery. Barbara's heart seemed to improve and she said she was feeling good and could do most everything that she wanted to do.
Barbara died on Friday, 26 June 2009. Even though we knew it a very real possibility with her many health problems, it still comes as a shock. She had been having a nagging pain in her back and Tom had questioned her thouroughly to see if she was all right. She did not want to go to the doctor and said she would be fine. Tom was gone to pick up some printing from the printers just a short time. When he returned home, he found her on the floor by his chair seemingly reaching for the phone. He was devastated that he was not there with her. Perhaps she picked her time. She seemed to have been preparing in retrospect. She had spent a most satisfying day with her family on Mother's Day. On Thursday, the day before she died, she called me (Marilyn) and we had a nice long talk. She asked me if I knew what glass eggs were. I told her all I could think of was the Ukranian painted eggs. She said she thought she should call and share this with me. When she was young, Mom would soft boil eggs, break them in a glass, (we supposed she didn't have any small bowls), add lemon juice and salt and pepper. They would then dip their toast in the egg. I remember the soft boiled egg with lemon juice but not in a glass. Perhaps by then Mom had small bowls. I still love them that way. Barbara wanted me to know that information. Looking back on our conversation, it seems a little ironic. She then called Darlyne and they had a nice talk.There were many little things that seemed to indicate her preparation. Basically, though, she had been preparing since the day she found out the dire circumstances of her health. She accepted it and lived every day the best she could. She didn't have a lot of strength and endurance, so she would clean a little and then rest a little. She was happy. She loved the way Tom took care of her. He would hold her hand when she walked anywhere to make sure she wouldn't fall. She and Tom gave each other a meaningful hug and kiss each morning; grateful for each day they could spend together. She was happy and upbeat her whole life.
The day before Barbara died, she told Tom that she had called each one of her sisters and daughters. I'm sure she knew that her time was close. She had had a pain behind her shoulder blade for the last week. It was getting stronger. Tom was concerned and asked her several time if she would go see the doctor. She insisted that she would not go to the doctor. They both knew the inevitable, that the annuerism in her aorta could give out at any time. Tom went to pick up some flyers from the printer and said he would only be gone for half an hour. When he returned home, he found her on her knees by his chair reaching for the phone. Although he knew it was in vain, he started CPR. That only pumped more blood out. The paramedics came and continued the CPR for a short time. The autopsy showed it was indeed the aortic annuerism that had given out. Barbara was 78 years old
28 JUL 2k5 Dear Marilyn & Ron....We just got back from the frozen north country and have finally warmed up a bit. 'Twas nice seeing the family in Puget Sound, SLO, Roseville and Cool. All seems well so far even tho Laura is still struggling, she does seem to be coping OK. The rest o' the mob is still the same and were glad of that. Also glad to hear things are going well on your mssion. Very nice that your weather is cooperating at this point and we wish you a successful completion and safe return home. Angus Augustus Menish, the boy angel, was perfect except that his internal organs were all jammed in his chest allowing no room for his lungs to expand. His situation was too severe for the med team at U of Washington to handle. He was taken off life support a day and half after birth permitting his reentry into heaven, his mission on earth accomplished. He came at a time of serious family strife and estrangement and the discovery of his affliction, while still in the womb, brought Linda's little family back together again, as it should be. He came. He did his job. He went back. And he went back with a load of earthly love from all his family. Linda is prepping a garden in her back yard in his memory and Barb and I bought a cherub statue for the garden. His parents will decide on his ashes in the future. We know you will be anxious to get home, but if you can swing it, be sure to drop in on us Desert Rats for a little visit. 'Twould be fun, again....Love....Barb 'n' Tom
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1930 - 2009 (78 years)
